It has been 3 months since my relationship with P ended. Eventhough I look okay, there are still times where I just break down and feel sorry for myself. My friends here and abroad — including people from the blogosphere and web — have indeed provided me immediate and constant encouragement. There are others, however, who I have not seen or heard from for a long time.
One of them, R, from Madrid, is in town with her boyfriend. I believe that the last time I saw her was in 2003. She had arranged with another friend, S, who lives in Hertfordshire, for us to meet tonight. I was excited because it has been a long time. But then when I spoke with S last night to agree where we are meeting, she mentioned that they will be driving into Central London. I then remembered, S has a boyfriend for quite some time now. Tonight would be the first time I will be meeting him. It then hit me that I will be the odd one out. And I just chickened out. I’d feel miserable. So I made up an excuse not to go.
I feel bad but I just feel it will be unfair if I go and just pretend that everything is fine and dandy. It’s not. Oh yes, I am happy for both of them but I’d be a party pooper because I know it will not feel fine when I see each couple sitting and walking side by side. I really don’t think I can take it. I just can’t.
Like
We need time to recuperate from broken relationships. Even I do too.
*hugs*
nah, you’re not selfish. just normal. of course it takes time to heal. so take your time luv!
i agree with kat, that’s not selfishness. i think some people would call it human nature. don’t worry, when i go back to london and call you so that we could have lunch, coffee and/or dinner, you can be sure that it would just be me, me and me. i just hope that there won’t be any more bomb threats around kensington when we go there. advanced happy, happy birthday dear friend! hope to see you pretty soon.
I have a friend who two years ago was just getting out of a really bad break-up and had another who just got involved with someone. We’ve all been friends for eighteen years and knew how very badly friend 1 will take being with people happily into their relationships while she languished in misery about the failure of hers. We never forced her into any such situation because as friends, well, you just don’t want to add to her misery. In short, there’s nothing wrong with your reaction.
Oh, and by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!